STELLA: 1525 Washington St, Boston MA

Since my mother was in town last night for a conference, we decided to meet for dinner. I picked her up and we drove over to the South End to make our 7:30pm reservation at Stella. I have been to Stella many times for drinks, but never for dinner. I have heard some good things about the food and when I looked at the menu, it seemed reasonably priced. I, also, really like the atmosphere. It gives a very clean feel with the white tables, chairs, and bar, and the taupe olefin rug. We arrived exactly on time and were seated right away. My mother complained that it was a bit noisy, but after her first glass of wine she didn't seem to mind! She definitely won on having the better meal. For an appetizer she chose the "Crispy Fried Artichoke Hearts" which literally melt in ones mouth. Her main course was the "Pork Milanese" and was gigantic and delicious. My mother was so impressed with her choices that she decided to give the waiter a play by play description about how much she enjoyed each bite of her meal. She was in rare form and I knew I needed to ride this wave for as long as I could, so I suggested that we stop for a martini at the next bar on the way back to the car. she happily agreed. At the bar, my mother made friends with this older-rich-handsome-gay gentleman. They mostly talked about his "organ" (well, it was actually his grand piano, but organ makes for a better story!). The two instantly hit it off and literally were BFF's. When we left, my mother invited him to stay with her and my father in the Berkshires so they could go to Tanglewood together! As we walked out of the bar, she said to me "This was such a great night, you are so fun!" to which I thought to myself "How am I the fun one? She was the one who entertained me all night!"

Overall, I give Stella 3.5 kirby cakes… the .5 is for the added entertainment!

SANTARPIO'S PIZZA: 111 Chelsea Street, East Boston

I met my friends after work the other day for drinks and we all decided to extend the evening to include dinner. All of us were completely broke and we needed to brainstorm a cheap place to eat! Then the brilliant idea of "dining at Santarpio's” was put on the table! Santarpio's in located in East Boston and has the most delicious inexpensive pizza. The nice thing is that you don't really have to go into East Boston. It is located right through the tunnel and you can loop back into the city without extending your journey too far into scary Eastie. The down side is that you have to pay a toll. But, the toll is worth it as they literally serve slices of heaven. It is also the best place to put all you inhabitation's aside and completely let loose and white-trash it up. But be careful how trashy you get as I am pretty sure if one crosses the line, one might end up with a horses head in their bed. Also, be sure to bring cash as Santarpio's does not accept credit cards. The service and ambiance are what one should expect for a typical dive-home-grown pizza joint. The wait staff is completely friendly and definitely "local to the area." Also, I am pretty sure most of the clientèle is local as well, so bring a camera and be careful not to get caught taking paparazzi photos of an Eastie hot mess!

Obvi I am giving Santarpio's 4 kirby cakes… I do not want a hit taken out on me!

FUGAKYU: 1280 Beacon St, Brookline MA

My close friend firmly believes that the main reason one should go out for sushi is for the sake. She LOVES the stuff. And while the sake motivates her to try new places, she has actually become a big fan of the cuisine along the way. So, when we are in the mood to drown our appetite with the latest infusion, I usually let her pick the place. I also am a bit spoiled and let her order for me as she has become somewhat of an expert with pairing sake with the many different, unpronounceable, choices on the menu. Over the years, she has brought me to many diverse Japanese restaurants in the greater Boston area that definitely range in price and sophistication. The research she has forced me to do has been very intoxicating and after downing several carafes, I think I am ready to make the difficult decision on my favorite sushi establishment. Fugakyu was actually one of the first sushi restaurants she brought me to and very few have compared since. Not only is the name fun to say, but apparently the Brookline location is the largest sushi restaurant in New England (so the website states). At first, this turned me off as I tend to like smaller more private establishments better. But after dining in the screened Tatami room, I put my own reservations aside and enjoyed the Fugakyu experience. The pricey menu consists of traditional and nouveau Japanese cuisine and to my friends delight, the sake list is quite extensive. I would definitely recommend making a reservation as this is one of the more popular sushi places in Boston.

It is difficult for me to fairly assign Fugakyu kirby cakes due to the fact that my dining experience consists of me not having to put any effort in because my friend does all the thinking for me. I merely show up to reservations already made, carafes of sake already picked out and my meal already paired. Therefore, I will tentatively assign 3.5 kirby cakes until I cut the umbilical cord and head out for sushi on my own!

HOUSTON'S: 60 State St, Boston, MA

This past weekend I tagged along with my close friend and her boyfriend for lunch. As we walked around touristy Faneuil Hall, we foolishly attempted to eat at a few different "chain restaurants!" I know, I know… I also try to make it a general rule to stay away from the chain restaurant. However, I believe one should try everything at least once. Besides, what kind of self labeled restaurant critic would I be if I did not review everything? Anyway, as it turned out, many of these chain establishments were fortunately closed due to a water main break in the area the night before. As we were discussing our options, I suddenly remembered that my favorite "cougar den" was right around the corner. Houston's literally is the best place to grab a drink and hunt for cougars mid-week after work. I have never been there to eat, so we figured this was the best time to try it out because it was too early in the day for any cougars to pounce on us. As we burrowed our way through the door, we were magically transported out of Boston's sunny tourist trap and into a dimly lit lounge. Once past the bar and escorted safely to the dining area, I noticed that the ambiance was surprisingly mediocre. In addition, the young waitresses were quite pleasant. I honestly was shocked! When it was time to order, we all decided on burgers and, again, I was somewhat impressed. I mean, don't get me wrong. There are definitely better places to eat that are within walking distance, but I seriously expected Houston's to be much worse. On the other hand, Houston's menu is a bit overpriced. Nevertheless, they are located in the perfect area to over charge the typical city visitor. Overall, I have no major complaints. So, I have vowed that if I was ever hungry in the area again, and I couldn't decide on a place to eat, AND if it was too early in the day to be mauled by a chain smoking cougar, I would definitely "consider" going back.

Unenthusiastically, Houston's gets 2 kirby cakes!

FRANKLIN CAFE: 278 Shawmut Ave. Boston MA

Franklin Café is my all time favorite place in Boston. It is tucked away on a side street in the South End and I typically go there for all my special occasions as well as drag my friends there for their special occasions. I have never heard one person say they dislike it… however, some have complained about the potential for incredibly long waits. I would recommend going early in the week, rather than on a weekend. One cannot make a reservation and tables are very limited. But the kitchen is open late night and the ambiance (when it is not super crowded) makes any wait well worth it. It is not pretentious at all (and this is coming from a guy who likes pretension) and so far I have not had bad service. Furthermore, I believe Franklin is the biggest bang for your buck. All the main courses around $20 and are better than some high end restaurants that I have been to. If you cannot decide from all the “fantastic-ness” on the menu, I highly recommend starting with the smokey skillet roasted mussels and then move on to the classic steak frites. However, I have tried most things on the menu and have never regretted what I ordered.

Seriously, do you even have to wonder… OBVI, 4 kirby cakes!!!!!!!

ACHILLES PROJECT: 283 Summer St. Boston MA

I wanted to let you all know about another great restaurant find in Boston. This weekend I went to this AWESOME new place (only 8 weeks old) right over the bridge on Summer St. I actually went for a "wedding," but was so impressed with the place that I ended up talking to the owner for about 20 minutes about the concept and the menu etc. He was very friendly and told me they are going to start advertising in May. The wait staff was also very friendly... but that may have been because I was on all "giddy up" from the open bar.

It is called Achilles Project and it is a boutique/bar/restaurant. That's right, they sell cloths too. The menu is quite interesting and separated into small (tapas size), medium (apt size), large (main course) and extra large (serves two) portions. And while it seemed simply "ok" priced the owner explained that all the food is more or less bought locally.

Overall, Achilles Project gets 3 kirby cakes... However, I am basing this off of the catering menu and not the regular menu. I reserve the right to adjust my "cakes" upon a proper (birthday) meal next month!!!

CHURCH: 69 Kilmarnock St. Boston MA

I went to church recently and was pretty impressed. I went with a group of about 5 friends and everyone seemed to be happy with their meals and the ambiance. The service was definitely worth the over-tipping regardless of how drunk and generous we felt. Our waiter was very friendly and over all knowledgeable (especially about the “Seven Deadly Sins” cocktails list which, I believe, consists of all fresh ingredients.) I ordered the braised lamb shank and it was amazing!!! The other dish I would highly recommend is the bacon wrapped pork loin! The eggplant rollatini was alright, but very similar to a great recipe that I picked up whilst living in London (leave me a comment if you would like me to forward the recipe to you). A couple other positives was that there is a free parking lot and if you eat dinner there and wanna go to the jazz club next door, they will comp your cover (which is like $10)… so you can always try to plan a night when there is a band there that you wanna see!

Overall, church gets 3 kirby cakes!

This is definitely one church that I will hope to attend regularly!!! (I know, I know… that was lame!)